2010-2011 has been the most rewarding year I have experienced. I have truly been blessed and learned a lot about who I am. With letting go of old habits, people, and things, I have turned to better myself, establish who I want to be...a leader. I can truly say I am happy with my life. Yes, I am single. Some may feel the lonely life sucks; however, I could not be more at peace. Love will come my way...until then, I will live my life, pursue my athletic career, and continue to rise in my professional career. One the most rewarding things is to see my family proud of me and to know that we are all accomplished. I came a long way as a young kid out of the inner-city of Rochester, NY. I was always in trouble and getting into some type is mischief. Being the middle child and growing up seeing the direction of my older siblings, it shed light on my own life. In some way or another through their faults or misdirection and accomplishments, I wanted to live out their lives and pursue their dreams. I did not live for myself...
Things have finally changed. I am proud to have graduated from college, working in athletics at the University at Albany, my Alma mater, and starting my professional career in track and field representing the country of Puerto Rico. This could not have been accomplished if it weren't from the individuals that made a huge impact on my life and guided me in the right direction out of high school. If anyone knows me, they know I much I love my Mother and my family. My mother has been working on us (her kids) since the day we were born. She molded and shaped us to be very independent at a young age. Although, we have all chosen to go our separate ways in life. She has instilled in us the joy and passion for the love of God. We are not perfect, nor will we ever be. As for me, I will strive for perfection in every way possible to please her and God.
I can admit, I was and perhaps still am, not the best person to deal with at times. I have my own issues and flaws that I have to deal with. Maybe these are the reasons why I am single. Before I can whole-heartedly give my heart to a woman, I need growth, I need strength and I am seeking personal fulfillment in understanding who I am and where i'm going in this lifetime. I still carry baggage of my past, that I pray will be lifted off my shoulders. I still blame myself, my ignorance as a young, innocent boy growing-up with sharks all around me. Yes, at one point I was innocent. But once you've been attacked by individuals that prey on your innocence and take advantage of you, that's it. They have destroyed your heart, your mind and your potential to become a leader, TRUE husband and a father. As strong-willed, and passionate as I may be, I still find myself cold-hearted and this is my weakness. Looking back on my life I realized family members don't really love you or have your back as much as you love and need them. They turn their cheek on you and degrade your name. Ya boys aren't really ya boys and I have come to realize that the hard way in all the years of my life, the places I've traveled and the things I have seen. The temptations I have faced...I regret, because I knew I was stronger, but in vulnerability and stupidity, I've failed. Although, I had those to direct me on the right path, nothing can save you from self-destruction. It is tough to keep people close me to. I care so much about not caring that I hurt those around me. I am self-conscious and afraid of who is in the mirror starring back at me. Those of you that are reading this, anyone that I have, in some ways or another, wronged or hurt in the past, Please forgive me...
Don't get me wrong, I am passionate, I do have feelings. I love, I hate (even though we are not supposed to),...I even cry. I am human. This is all apart of growth as a man. I have made many mistakes. Mistakes that have protected me, hurt others, or benefited everyone but myself. What God or others see in me, I cannot accept to see myself. I am afraid, but I am a leader, I am a champion, and I am the 'one who is like God'. This is my first year.
My awakening...
